← Back to the home page · Français · العربية

They refuse to come. What now?

It is the most common situation, and the most exhausting. Here is what clinical experience teaches — and what, on the contrary, closes the door.

Start by calling for yourself

You do not need their consent to ask for advice. A first call serves to describe the situation, gauge how urgent it is and prepare what comes next. Many families call weeks before the patient accepts anything: that time is not wasted — it prevents missteps.

Choosing the moment

• Never during intoxication: nothing that is said will be remembered.
• Never during withdrawal either: irritability makes any discussion explosive.
• The best moment is often the day after a difficult episode, while the regret is still there — the window is short.

What helps

• Talk about facts, not judgements: “you didn't come home on Thursday” rather than “you are irresponsible”.
• Describe the effect on you, not on them: “I am frightened”, “I can't sleep any more”.
• Suggest one single thing, small and concrete: an appointment, not a full course of treatment.
• Leave a door open every time: “whenever you're ready, it's possible”.
• Bring someone along: a brother, a friend or the family doctor often carries more weight than the spouse.

What makes things worse

• The ultimatum you will not follow through on: it discredits you for the next time.
• Searching their things, throwing out bottles, counting pills: it shifts the conflict onto surveillance and masks the illness.
• Paying off debts with no conditions, lying to the employer, covering absences: every consequence avoided delays the decision.
• Arguing in front of the children.

When the emergency overrides consent

Some signs are not up for negotiation. Call immediately:

• Seizures, confusion, hallucinations, fever while stopping.
• Thoughts of death spoken out loud, a precise plan, or a narrowly avoided attempt.
• Complete refusal to drink and eat for more than 24 hours.
• Putting others in danger, particularly behind the wheel.

If there is an immediate threat to life, also dial 190 (SAMU).

Hospital admission normally takes place with the patient's consent. When their condition does not allow it, Tunisian law regulates admission at the request of a family member: the procedure is explained to you over the phone, and it is never undertaken lightly.

If the crisis is psychiatric — hallucinations, delusions, total insomnia, suicidal talk — the page A psychiatric crisis at home details what to do until help arrives, and who to call.

And if nothing changes?

Get support for yourself. Those close to a person with an addiction frequently develop anxiety, insomnia and exhaustion. We also see families on their own — and it is often through them that care eventually begins.

Request an appointment for a family member →

If they accept: preparing for the stay — what to bring.